Tag Archives: manners

10 Things You Should Never Say to a Pregnant Woman

There are certain things I never thought about up until recent months. This is my first pregnancy so I spend a lot of time now reading books about pregnancy (fiction and non), looking at labor videos on youtube, researching natural births vs. medicated, and looking at my clothes wondering which ones I can still fit into!!  I also am working on getting supplies ready for the baby’s arrival, and reading briefly (if I have time) books about parenting. I am working out a few times a week, and eating… a lot…. I am always hungry, so I have to make sure I have fruit, greek yogurt, granola bars, or the occasional chocolate bar available 24/7!!! Not to mention… lots and lots of water. I fainted week 10 of my pregnancy from not eating enough and not drinking enough water. The baby and myself were completely fine, but I can’t stress enough that you need to eat and drink a boatload of fluids.

Anyways… I have been filled with a lot of anticipation and excitement surrounding the baby. People ask a lot of questions, even total strangers! Fortunately, I also know a lot of other women who have been pregnant recently, or are currently in that stage of their lives. I feel lucky to have a lot of women to talk to.

Since before I even announced it, I have been thinking about this… there are just certain things people should refrain from saying to an expecting mother. ESPECIALLY if it’s her first time carrying a baby. These are either things that have been said to me, or things I’ve heard said to other expectant women.

1. “Didn’t you just get married?!” (They cock their head to the side in wonder, skillfully trying to calculate how many weeks and days you are along to see if you got knocked up prior to the wedding).

2. “Wow! You must be having twins! You are HUGE!” No woman likes to hear they are huge, even though they are pregnant. Trust me… every time someone says that, you can bet that I did a few google image searches just to make sure I was a “normal” size for my baby’s gestational age.

2. On the flip side… (Gasping in shock) “You aren’t even showing! Are you sure there’s even a baby in there?!?!” Helloo…. way to make a pregnant woman panic?!? This might result in the expecting mom calling the doctor to find out if they should be “showing” more or spending a lot of time in front of the mirror, or just simply dreading the next doctor’s appointment so they can verify that the baby has a heartbeat and is growing as expected.

3. “My sister, friend, cousin, whomever had a miscarriage.” Let’s just put it this way… DO NOT EVEN SAY THE “M” word. When you’re pregnant, positive thoughts and encouragement are welcome. This is not.

4. “Are you getting an epidural, c-section, or having a natural birth?” We will cross that bridge when we come to it. Some things you can’t really plan.

5. “Did you plan to get pregnant?” Well.. ummm… some things are just awkward to discuss. Yes, I know how babies are made.

6. “Are you going to get married now?” (to someone who isn’t yet married) Hmmm… I’m sure they have thought about it, discussed with their significant other, beat themselves up over it (or not). Maybe it’s rude to ask such a question.

7. “I almost died during labor. Let me tell you all about it.” Please refrain.

8. “I was pregnant once, and I ate hot dogs and soda every day and my kids are just fine!” Well, that’s good for you. I’m  glad you got lucky. I would rather not take the risk, and don’t want to feed my developing baby chemicals and preservatives.

9. “Do you want a boy or a girl?” This isn’t a terrible thing to ask and it’s not offensive at all. However, I felt awkward answering this question, because what if it’s not “what we wanted” and then I would feel guilty if the child later found out somehow. Doesn’t everyone just want a healthy child?

10. “Are you sure you are ready for a kid?” Well, it’s a little late to debate that one now, isn’t it?

I do not intend for this to be a negative post. We are REALLY, REALLY excited about our baby girl’s arrival. We also REALLY appreciate all the positive well wishes from everyone. Here is our nursery so far. It still needs to be painted, and I am working on a baby blanket and curtains. 🙂 I hope everyone is having a great week.

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Currently week 26…. baby girl due April 24, 2014

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